ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.
whenever i post this it works
reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet

lil matt damon SNAPPED
He looks exactly like Matt Damon
the finger points 😭😭
Him and this gif have the same energy

He dragged him for not listening lmao
Why are customers stupid as fuck
“Does the decaf coffee have caffeine?” What the fuck do you think!
“Can I get a bacon sandwich”
“Which one sir? We have three of them”
“The one with the bacon on it”
Hi my name is Customer McDumbass and I ordered six frappaccinos, all different, during a rush right before my flight is supposed to board and I’m mad my drinks aren’t done yet!
Um. Decaf has caffeine. Chemically decaffeinated somewhat less so than Swiss water process decaf, but it still has enough to fuck with particularly sensitive people.
I mentioned this in the replies but the customer asked because they wanted the coffee with the MOST caffeine and thought decaf was that. It was genuinely stupid I promise
Me: “I have a small cappuccino for Caitlin!”
Customer: “What? But I ordered a large Americano!”
Me: “What’s your name?”
Customer: “Laurie”
I have customers walk away with the wrong drink so often because of that constantly. Like ma’am, you ordered a large frap. Does this medium hot cup really seem like it’s the right beverage for you???????
“And WHY exactly can’t I use my coupon?”
“…because your coupon is for a regular priced item, and your item is on sale.”
“Well, how was I supposed to KNOW it was on sale?”
“Well, ma'am, there was a sign right above it on the shelf–”
“I came in here to SHOP, not to READ.”
Dude I have people with bones coming out of their body asking me if I think it’s an emergency and if they should go to the hospital or wait till it gets better. Like humans are just plain stupid
WHY CANT I USE MY COUPON TWICE???
“Where are my vouchers? I was told I would get them!”
“No sir, you took out business with us two months before the voucher offer started.”
“So I’m going to get my vouchers?”
“No sir, because you started business with us before the offer began.”
“I want my vouchers!”
“You aren’t eligible for any voucher sir.”
“This is ridiculous! I was told I would get vouchers.”
“Actually sir we’ve listened to all the calls, and no one mentioned the vouchers to you.”
“…So when will I get my vouchers?”
B o I
Reblogging for the comic
That “grabbing the obviously wrong drink” thing pissed me off so much when I was a barista. It really made me lose faith in humanity’s intelligence.
Yesterday a woman who ordered a mocha grabbed someone else’s chai, despite names being announced and written on cups, drank half of it, then returned it and yelled at me because it wasn’t her drink. Customers really are that stupid
I work at a hot dog place and I had a couple come in and order two hot dogs. One plain and one with onions and mustard. I labeled them so they knew which was which but they returned a little later complaining that his hot dog didn’t have anything on it even though he ordered it with mustard and onions and that his girlfriends hot dog had mustard and onions instead of being plain….I didn’t even know how to respond.
I once had a woman complaining about how small our clothes were fitting her. She was shopping in the childrens department.
There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs
This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose
I’m not ready to be a single mom
I know shit about reptiles

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth
Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care
I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?
70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??
You a mom now
Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”
I’m gonna fistfight nature

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow
I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??
I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out
YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA
DAMN IT SHARRON
First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this
Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??
UPDATE

SHES BACK
NEVERMIND
ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE
That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me
Call this one Susan
You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit
Reblog if you’re black tumblr.
You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.
100%
200%
Someone who’s black or supports black people and their human rights. it literally says that in the description. “You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.”
Why the fuck does this not have more notes wtf.
🙋🏻♂️
Let’s count the psyops
me: *displays affection by giving you links to posts i think are relevant to your interests*

